By Hazel Namponya
“According to Medical News Today, “Shadow Work” is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on the “shadow self,” which is the parts of the psyche that people often keep hidden, such as trauma and resentment. During the 20th century, psychoanalyst Carl Jung developed this concept and called it the “shadow self”, which he would describe as things that people suppress, ignore, or do not like to acknowledge. Although the “shadow self” can include negative impulses, such as anger and resentment, Jung believed that it also held the potential for positive impulses, such as creativity. He felt that the shadow self is integral to a person’s experience of the world and their relationships. He also thought that a person could gain a better understanding of themselves and become more balanced by working with their shadow self.”
Jung does not rule out the influence of spirituality on the psyche and it is believed that “Shadow Work” has influenced various types of spiritual practices and other belief systems.
Valisa Griffin in her TEDex talk on The Semantics of Shadow Work, refers to this process as being grounded in something that is deeper than your ego and that is SELF. Her journey on her “shadow work” enabled her to face her “shadow self”, who in her words was “unloved, unhealed and unwanted” which was an underlying assessment of her identity and the cycles she endured under that narrative into her adult life. “The thing about this “shadow work” is that I can never go back to who I was before I confronted this “shadow”. I can never go back to that shadow dynamic that told me, I was unloved, unhealed, and unwanted.” She further adds, “… the self-doubt, fear and insecurity, I can never see those things as a true reflection of myself ever again, because what all those things really are, is a projection of my shadow.”
Without a well-developed shadow side, a person can easily become shallow and extremely preoccupied with the opinions of others, a walking Persona – journalpsyche.org
Collective Action Magazine was invited to speak with Amogelang Pila Dithlale; a celebrated Artist and Director of the theatrical production. In an interview, she explains that she was compelled to create an intimate safe space for artists and creatives for trauma healing. More often Artists create inspirational pieces, yet most have themselves experienced GBV and are, in most cases, unaware that they carry trauma.
“When I came up with this concept of body painting it was derived from me using my body as an expression of our spirituality and self-love. With this, I wanted to further extend my artistry into something that matters and brings a change to society. This is when the idea of visualising healing from GBV trauma emerged. We often see the act being perpetuated but hardly the solutions” explains Amogelang.
“The thing about this “shadow work” is that I can never go back to who I was before I confronted this “shadow”. I can never go back to that shadow dynamic that told me, I was unloved, unhealed, and unwanted.” – Valisa Griffin
It was a 10-day long production that included a lot of grounding exercises like Yoga, meditation, body painting by the river, improvs, sessions on mental health, and discussion forums that led up to the creation of a non-scripted multidisciplinary (art, poetry, dance, music, acts, live art painting) theatrical play on GBV. The play was open to the public and marked the closing of the production on the last day.
“It was important that we create a safe space for shadow work because it requires immense vulnerability, and we needed to make provision for participants to delve as deep as they could. With shadow work, one gets to recognise and encounter the side that they want kept hidden (sometimes unknowingly), they get to confront their trauma and other challenging emotions, understand and acknowledge how these are negative personal traits which perpetuate the cycle of trauma and also learn how society, childhood, and other relationships have shaped their lives, and in so doing learn to accept themselves,” says Amogelang. “A great part of the work is also spiritual, a practice whose purpose is to help individuals, not only to embrace the trauma but use their experience to reach a higher level of self. This may not be for everyone, but we are lucky that the whole team was spiritually inclined, with a number already practising spirituality,” Amogelang further explains.
Collective Action Magazine had an opportunity to hold a group interview with the whole cast discussing their trauma-healing experience. The openness was overwhelming. It should be noted that before this theatrical
production l, most cast members had never met, nor had they openly shared their GBV encounters. What was most striking about the team was that GBV is a story they all embraced, with each bravely sharing their stories and thoughts around GBV and the trauma it carries. The full interview is available at the end of this story, however from the session, we highlight a few messages.
“The concept of gender itself is a violation of human rights.” Orapeleng Mandubo
“Do not let the pain and wounds consume you, seek help whilst there is still time. “Speak up and don’t let anyone have power over you, do not hide, speak up!” Nothando Xaba
“Just one act of violence has catastrophic and long-term, effects what more perpetuated acts?” Boipelo Matlhare
“I find healing, seeing others heal” Amogelang Pila Ditlhale
“I say smile, cheese, smile cheese” a chants Thandeka Ntamane… “for a long time I forgot to smile”
Thato Mokgoane opens up about her sexual abuse, fears attempted suicide and trauma.
I am terrified, I am so terrified that I even dream about it.
I worry about my daughter.
I am here and all these wounds are open.
I dream about how I could ever protect my daughter.
I am getting flashbacks.
I remember I would be in the bathroom, and he would come in and close the door, sometimes I would lock the door, but he would find a way to open the door.
You know, I worry about my son, what if he gets to be like that to someone else?
We don’t know how they get to be like that. Where you get to violate someone so much that I had three attempted suicides. I drank the whole bottle of spirits, I drank Jik, Handy Andy, and pills, I tried hanging myself and I have even run away from home.
Not that I really wanted to kill myself, but it felt like the only way to numb the pain. I wanted to escape this thing I was feeling. Sometimes I would get beaten up so bad for no reason, those incidents lived in me.
I remember in 1990, I had just started high school, and my body was developing into a woman. I remember being told by elderly women that once you had started your periods you were going to fall pregnant. But the boy convinced me otherwise. I really don’t know what it is like to have a boyfriend, nor have I experienced a first sexual encounter lovingly. Forced sexual encounters made me hate intercourse. I found myself detached to a point where, ironically, I felt safer hanging out with my male friends because I felt protected, they treated me as a friend and not as an object.
I told my family about the abuse, but they laughed about it at family gatherings, because really, it was my word against his. How do I even start breaking this? I don’t even want my children to go and visit, what if it happens to my child?
What if it steals her innocence like it did mine?
When you look at me, you will probably think I am well put together, deep down, you have no idea how wounded I am.
My dad does not even know till this day. Where do I start? I ask myself where he was. Why did he divorce my mum? Maybe if they were still together he would have protected me. Maybe if my mum wasn’t working late, she would have protected me.
I am expected to get by!
Had it not been for the counsellor at school, I would have been long gone, it would have been better that way.
Now I get to see the beauty of life and the experiences I have had and being in spaces where you can talk and just be embraced. It took years to just accept myself for the person I am because for a long time I was the black sheep of the family, with everyone being light in complexion I am the only one that is dark-skinned, short, and chubby, often called “that dark one”. Maybe that is wrong, maybe people shouldn’t be that way. I was afraid to be alone, they always say your demons come out when you are alone and they can really put you down, they will bury you alive. For years I have wrestled them.
My “message to the living” is “don’t be afraid to be alone”.
I am hoping someone out there from this will decide that they will not kill themselves.
Thank you for the space.
